Sensitive from a young age

Throughout my childhood, I was unaware of my mediumship abilities, only becoming aware of them in adulthood, as I have no recollection of being clairvoyant when I was young.

As time passed, I began to wonder if my sensitivity had always been a part of me. In particular, my ability to perceive others' emotions and well-being was a quality I was familiar with, and I started to ponder whether this attribute originated from my undeniable codependency or my sensitivity.

During my childhood and teenage years, my activities were limited to attending school, participating in sports and music, and studying at home. However, the presence of drinking in my household had a significant impact on me. I often found myself unsure of what to expect when I returned home, as I couldn't tell if everything was normal or if there was some underlying tension. This uncertainty led me to become hyperaware of my surroundings and situation, as I tried to anticipate what might happen next. Ultimately, the unpredictability caused by the drinking was more distressing than the drinking itself.

Feeling like I always needed to be vigilant and observe my surroundings became a common experience for me. Unconsciously, I analyzed people's actions and circumstances for any potential threats or indications of trouble. Upon delving into spirituality, I questioned whether my heightened awareness around others stemmed from these intuitive abilities or simply from being accustomed to closely monitoring my environment.

Here are some instances that illustrate the type of incident I am referring to. Some years back, I was conversing with a coworker about a topic and noticed that I was feeling quite irritated. Strangely, I couldn't pinpoint the reason for my annoyance, as the subject matter held little significance for me. It dawned on me that I wasn't upset; rather, I was absorbing the emotions of my colleague, who was deeply invested in this particular issue.

Later, when I began a new job, I recall being introduced to a colleague and sensing an immediate disconnect. It seemed to me that we were individuals with little in common. Over the years, despite engaging in courteous conversations, it became evident that we did not share the same perspectives.

Finally, I used to frequently take drives with my friend during our time in school. However, upon entering the car, I would instantly pick up on her emotions. This instance illustrates my current understanding of the distinction between being empathetic on one hand and being codependent on the other. I attribute my ability to sense her feelings to my empathy, while my codependency hindered my capacity to differentiate between her emotions and my own.

I would immediately mirror her emotional state, whether she was joyful or sorrowful, disregarding my feelings. Over time, I had to work through this codependency to establish my individuality, with distinct emotions and viewpoints. The experiences I had as a child and adolescent greatly contributed to my heightened attentiveness to my environment and the welfare of others. This may have enhanced my sensitivity or heightened my senses to some extent.

Being on a spiritual journey involves utilizing meditation and mindfulness to focus more on one's thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. This practice helps in gaining a better understanding of one's emotions and empowers making deliberate choices, rather than being driven by the subconscious or living life on autopilot. I could say that I have been engaging in this self-improvement process since childhood and my teenage years, and am now I seeing the benefits through heightened sensitivity in my present experiences