A healthy soul in a healthy body

I constantly find it challenging to understand my emotions and why I continue to face so many obstacles.

A few years ago, I underwent a significant transformation by dedicating myself to overcoming my discomfort and anxiety. Despite this progress, I still struggle with numbness and yearn for more happiness in my life. Furthermore, I am confronted with challenging health issues such as dizziness, brain fog, memory loss, chronic fatigue, and various digestive and skin problems.

I am keen on becoming more proactive. Sometimes, I encounter things that pique my interest or that I want to delve into, but I tend to procrastinate. After following The Workout Witch on social media for a while, I eventually chose to join her course. Through the course, she sheds light on how the symptoms I've been experiencing could be linked to chronic stress.

Lately, I have been feeling more physically uncomfortable than before, and I attribute this to my inability to unwind effectively. Despite my attempts, I face a considerable amount of stress. For instance, I am so anxious that a companion who journeyed with me across the country likened riding in a car with me to being constantly on edge as if a helicopter could unexpectedly crash into us at any moment!

Being constantly rigid and tense can significantly impact the body, possibly connecting conditions like fibromyalgia to childhood trauma. Individuals with a traumatic past may constantly anticipate negative outcomes due to their prior experiences of distressing events, perpetuating a cycle of expecting the worst.

I experience these pains in the muscles and connective tissues of my body now, whereas I did not feel them before because I was not fully present in my body. During my shamanic training, I discovered that my consciousness had left my body to avoid feeling the pain I had stored there. The program enabled me to establish a stronger connection with my body and overall well-being, yet it has also made me more aware of the pain my body carries.

Embarking on a self-improvement journey can be exhausting, especially when it feels like there is always more to do and the work is never-ending. Despite this, I have accomplished several milestones in recent years. I completed the shaman course, spent a winter at Starcodes Academy, attended various diet and digestion-related courses, and I still see healers regularly. Therefore, it is evident that I am actively pursuing personal growth and development.

Given all my efforts thus far, I am confident that I should be quite skilled at this point. Nevertheless, this is a continual process that consistently reveals new layers. A significant moment for me this year was exploring The Untethered Soul, a book that discusses the path to spiritual awakening.

I have gone through the first stage, where I realized that I am not my identity and learned to distinguish between my thoughts, feelings and beliefs and the "me" who is watching, the witness. Now I'm at the next level, where everything I need to process finds its way to the surface, which means I'm forced to work with my body and emotions, whether I like to or not.

The fact that I'm still in pain and struggling with the issues I mentioned means that I'm still a work in progress. My mantra should, therefore, be "It's a process," which is something I remind myself of when I'm really struggling. The good news is that it's all well worth it because the process ends in enlightenment, at least according to the author of The Untethered Soul!