My spiritual awakening: Part I

When I began my spiritual journey my only goal was to feel better.

Throughout my life, I have battled anxiety and depression. However, my experience with the healthcare system left me dissatisfied with the available options, prompting me to explore alternative paths. At the age of 25, I began attending various healing classes, where my innate sensitivity was recognized by some of my instructors, who predicted that I would eventually pursue a career as a healer and medium.

However, I felt the need to explore my inner self further. So, I kept attending courses and consulting with counsellors and healers to manage my emotional turmoil. I wasn't ready to help others, so I immersed myself even more in my personal growth journey instead.

There came a time when I understood that I wasn't advancing as a healer and medium as anticipated. Unlike others who aim to reach enlightenment in this lifetime, I had never embarked on a conscious journey for spiritual growth. Yet, I discovered myself on a path with an unclear destination.

About four or five years ago, I experienced "emptiness." I knew beforehand that I was not my mind, body, feelings, thoughts, personality, or identity, but I experienced it directly in that moment. I was my true self, who I am at my core, not a person but a soul, consciousness, creation, higher self, light, love, peace, or whatever you want to call it.

This brief experience had a lasting impact on me. At first, I didn't consider it more significant than my other mystical encounters, but I found it intriguing upon reflection. It was only after reading a passage in a book by my cherished spiritual mentor, Adyashanti, where he described his spiritual awakening in a way that mirrored my own experience, that I recognized it as a moment of self-realization.

I didn't fully grasp its significance at the time, so I continued my routine. Only now do I comprehend the full impact of what has transpired since that moment. Following that experience, a series of events unfolded, which I initially believed were part of my journey's natural progression, but I now recognize as stemming from this awakening.

In my upcoming blog post, I intend to explore the events that transpired in more detail. For the moment, I will mention that these incidents led me to read more extensively and seek advice from spiritual mentors.

Although there is not much literature available on the topic, I have come to understand that a distinctive journey begins when one connects with their inner self. This concept is discussed in Adyashanti's book The End of Your World, which looks into people's experiences after a spiritual awakening.

Adyashanti describes what happens after such an awakening thus: "It is important to realize that it is the old journey that has ceased, the journey towards that initial seeing, the journey where you didn't have any consciousness of who and what you were. Now a new journey begins - the journey of expressing non-divison at every level of your being. And this is a journey that may take years to complete itself."