Active listening in a safe space

Throughout the years, I have been frustrated when attempting to communicate my struggles to others, as I have not received the desired or necessary response.

Similar to many individuals, there are times when I require an outlet to express my emotions. However, I have noticed that people often react by offering advice or attempting to solve the issue. The type of support individuals seek when opening up about their feelings can vary, but from my experience, individuals crave acknowledgement and understanding.

I am a deep thinker who typically has a good grasp on what I need to do in a particular situation. I don't necessarily require advice, as I've already thoroughly considered the matter, but I find it essential to discuss my problems with others. However, when people offer solutions, it can hurt me, making me feel inadequate for not simply resolving the issue.

Instead of asking for advice, I need help articulating my feelings and getting empathy from caring individuals who grasp my difficulties with taking action. When confronted with tasks such as starting a difficult conversation, I tend to hold back, mainly due to the fear of possible reactions or outcomes. Rather than seeking direction, I frequently desire support in delving deeper into my emotions and comprehending my inner workings.

When I require a safe space to process my emotions, I seek solace in a healer whom I have known for years and who understands me deeply. In her presence, I can express my feelings without facing scrutiny, unwanted guidance, or judgment for my emotions and experiences.

Healing primarily involves offering a sanctuary, a secure environment where people can embrace their emotions. Simultaneously, it is a haven for relaxation and rejuvenation, often leading to healing. While a healer does transmit healing energy, their capacity to be present with individuals navigating intense emotions and provide support without attempting to rescue them from their feelings is equally crucial.

During my shaman studies, my healer, who also served as one of the assistant teachers, emphasized the importance of active listening. This skill involves sitting with a person and attentively hearing them out without jumping in to offer advice or solutions. While it's great to have my healer to turn to, I wish I had someone in my close circle whom I could confide in when necessary.

Not everyone has access to therapy or a skilled counsellor, so we must support each other. We don't need to be professionals to provide a listening ear and emotional support to those in our lives. Showing empathy by listening, creating a safe environment, connecting emotionally, and reassuring the person that they are not alone can make a significant difference.

To assist others effectively, individuals must first develop the ability to acknowledge and manage their emotions. Some people struggle to empathize with others' suffering as it triggers their emotional responses. Those who have engaged in self-reflection can maintain composure and offer support when others face challenging feelings.

Becoming a compassionate listener who demonstrates care and empathy is a skill that can be nurtured. Hence, prioritizing self-improvement is crucial as it enables us to provide support not only to ourselves but also to others.