Adult child of an alcoholic

I found it truly inspiring to read an interview with a young girl who shared her experience of growing up with an alcoholic parent.

This girl had experienced a more severe version of the same issue as I: she was raised in a household affected by alcoholism. Still, she demonstrated remarkable strength by openly discussing it in the media at just 14 years old, making her story accessible for all to read.

It took me a bit longer to go through this process. Having an alcoholic parent meant that even though I felt okay at home, being raised in a codependent family had a lasting impact, as this environment started to feel completely normal.

A child does not grasp that circumstances could vary and that family rules might not apply universally. They adapt to the existing situation. What is the main rule within the family?

Stay silent. Do not discuss issues or share your feelings. If a problem comes up, avoid bringing it up later. Pretend nothing happened and try to stay indifferent. Maintain your composure and do your best to handle the situation.

It took me quite a while to realize that this was not acceptable. I frequently felt anxious, nervous, and stressed, thinking it was simply my nature. Eventually, it occurred to me that life didn't have to be this challenging. I understood that it was possible to live without experiencing overwhelming anxiety every day. I recognized that I could make changes, but it would be up to me to put them into action.

At 16, I waited until I could relocate for further studies. I decided to leave my comfort zone by enrolling in a school where I had to socialize and make new friends from scratch. Travelling solo overseas, attending a language school in a foreign country, pursuing further studies, securing a new job, and then another, proved challenging for someone who always feared making mistakes and dreaded unfamiliar situations.

At the age of 24, while sitting at Kastrup airport in Denmark, I realized that I didn't view myself positively. This prompted me to consider the absurdity of living with self-doubt, given that I am my constant companion. Recognizing how irrational this was, I decided to cease undervaluing myself, as it seemed unreasonable, and I knew I wasn't foolish.

It wasn't until a year later that I finally connected with a therapist and a healer who made a positive impact on me. They introduced me to the idea that I didn't need to change who I was and could embrace my true self.

They assisted me in acknowledging my emotions and understanding the depth of my pain and anger, which were completely justified. They guided me in being truthful with myself and those around me, educated me on establishing boundaries, standing up against mistreatment, and fostering a harmonious relationship with myself and others.

It's almost hard to believe how much progress I've made in just a year. I'm sharing this to highlight the powerful impact of genuinely sharing personal experiences. Such stories can motivate readers to start their journey, which is what I hope for you.

Life doesn't need to be as challenging as it may seem, a lesson I've learned firsthand.