Be your own best friend

Lately, I've been reflecting on the tendency of us humans to be very critical of ourselves.

Some individuals, instead of being gentle with themselves during challenging times, worsen their difficulties by self-blame for their struggles or feelings of inadequacy. I am interested in understanding the motivations behind this conduct.

Occasionally, I reflect on my time in elementary school and remember the significant focus on student achievement. The expectation was for us to excel in all subjects and perform admirably in sports and leisure activities, even though it is unrealistic to be proficient in every single area.

During my teenage years, I faced considerable pressure regarding my education, particularly when deciding on my future path. I was expected to excel in my studies, pursue further education, and carefully select my academic journey. Although uncertain about the consequences of not following the right path, it was imperative for me to make the correct choice.

Despite my initial belief that mistakes were unacceptable, I have realised that they play a crucial role in learning and personal growth. Education should be seen as a rewarding journey, and one's youth should be a period of self-discovery, exploration, and the pursuit of life goals.

Exploring and trying new things should be enjoyable and thrilling. There is no correct way to navigate life, and every experience is valuable. Past experiences can often be utilized and altered to pursue different paths, acquire new knowledge, or change careers. Instead of motivating me, the pressure to do the right thing only led to increased anxiety, distress, and fear of the unknown.

While my self-criticism can be partly explained by that, there are various reasons why individuals impose high standards and unattainable expectations on themselves. It's important to acknowledge that clarity is not constant. Everyone experiences challenges or traumas at some point, and it's natural to struggle sometimes.

There is no benefit in criticizing yourself for it besides everything else. There is no need to feel ashamed for working through old emotions and pains, for handling discomfort. Prioritizing self-care and putting yourself first is crucial. Only when we are in a good place can we genuinely support others without compromising our boundaries.

It is common for individuals to prioritize being available for others, regardless of their well-being. However, when we are overly tired, we cannot assist anyone. Resting is often viewed as a negative thing, but taking breaks and relaxing is essential. Merely sleeping at night is insufficient for adequate rest; having moments during the day when you engage in activities that require no effort is crucial.

It is vital to find a harmony between being active and taking breaks. In today's fast-paced world with constant stimuli, choosing wisely what activities to engage in is crucial. For instance, if work demands a lot for some time, it might be necessary to prioritize it over socializing for a while. Similarly, new parents may need to prioritize caring for their babies over going to the gym. Sometimes, it's enough to get through the day and accept that as sufficient. Tomorrow is another day.