Psychedelic-assisted therapy: My experience

After detailing my preparations for psychedelic-assisted therapy in my previous blog post, I will now delve into the actual experience of the trip, which turned out to be quite different from my initial expectations.

As soon as the chemicals began to take effect, I sensed a vibration throughout my body. An instinctive wave of fear followed this sensation as I realized I was committed to something I couldn't retreat from. Although this feeling subsided rapidly, it was succeeded by a wave of nausea. This nausea was not caused by any illness from the substance but rather by a necessary release that needed to occur.

The therapist was ready for this; she had told me to fast, and all that came out of me was phlegm. I asked her what was happening, and she said that when the system relaxes the chemicals, it's like removing a cork from a bottle. There would be specific steps that people experienced on such a journey, and she would go through them with me as they came up.

Once the nausea subsided, I had to rise and sway my left leg as though I needed to release tension in my left hip. Subsequently, I began trembling, initially in my left leg and hip, but eventually throughout my entire abdomen (curiously, during this vigorous shaking, there was a 4.5-magnitude earthquake).

During the experience, I encountered varying degrees of shaking. However, at one moment, I felt as if I could have been calmly reading a newspaper while seated. The primary sensation was centred in my left leg and hip, with some vibration in my neck. This was the extent of the occurrence, and it passed relatively swiftly. By the three-hour mark, the effects mainly had subsided (a standard trip typically lasts about six hours).

Surprisingly, despite having a unique sensitivity, I encountered no different realities, visions, or similar experiences. The absence of supernatural feelings or a deeper understanding of my life let me down. Little did I know that it was only the start, even though the journey seemed to have ended.

Simply put, I have been undergoing a process that has lasted for several weeks. I have been shaking ever since I returned home. Still, I have been managing it effectively due to my experience in healing and recognizing the signs of the body processing past trauma.

Last autumn, I started learning somatic exercises, which entail shaking and trembling to release stress and trauma stored in the body. This practice is known to animals, and humans should also embrace it. Unfortunately, we have become disconnected from this innate method of stress release.

The purpose of these exercises is to engage the nervous system and restore its equilibrium. I practised these exercises every day for four months towards the end of last year with The Workout Witch, which helped, although I have not yet achieved the results she assures her clients of. This is due to my prolonged exposure to daily stress, which has significantly affected my life and health.

Without a doubt, I do not feel any remorse about my psychedelic-assisted therapy session despite not perceiving significant changes while it took place. Specifically, it achieved what I had desired with my somatic exercises: transitioning my body from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic system, leading to a profound sense of relief as I could finally unwind effectively.

By reducing some of my defences, psychedelics enabled healing to occur. Although my life has not suddenly become perfect, as I am still dealing with emotional and physical pains revealed during the journey, this experience has nonetheless played a vital role in my personal growth, opening the path for further self-improvement.