The need for love and acceptance

Throughout my life, I have always been searching. From my early years as a child and adolescent, I have been attempting to discern my identity and purpose.

I attempted to comprehend the expectations placed on me. In Iceland, there may not be rigid social rules or norms, as we are not highly religious and quite accepting of individuals being themselves, so there isn't always a clear-cut "correct" way to lead one's life.

So what are the rules? I made an effort to determine the correct course of action, and I found the answer at school. I understood that attending school, studying, and performing well were expected of me. I complied and completed elementary school, high school, and university. I became quite elitist about education as I believed it was the only proper path.

Only when I achieved my dream of studying abroad did I realize that education wasn't everything. Despite holding three university degrees, I found myself questioning what to pursue once I'd finished my studies and accomplished what I thought I should. Was it about chasing a successful career? I discovered that merely aiming for external achievements like a specific job title, high salary, or a luxurious home was not the fulfilment I sought.

Unknowingly, I was always observing my surroundings, measuring myself against others, and seeking guidance to lead a fulfilling life. I believed that by determining the correct path and adhering to certain principles, I would achieve contentment, acceptance, love, and security.

It is clear to me now that since my childhood and teenage years, I have been seeking the answer, attempting to discern the path I should take and the person I should become to receive love and acceptance. I have consistently sought this answer externally, whether in my surroundings or society. My existence has been centred on the quest for the correct actions to take to be deemed sufficient in the eyes of others.

Throughout this quest, I consistently experienced inner insecurity due to my inability to find the solution. The guidelines I was expected to adhere to remained elusive. I lacked clarity on who could provide direction on my actions and behaviour. The core issue stemmed from my uncertainty regarding what constituted right and wrong, as I was unsure of the authority responsible for making such determinations.

Realising the answer made my inner insecurity disappear. The answer does not exist externally. No individual, community, religion, or superior knowledge can guide me. The only one capable of doing so is me. The solution lies in being true to myself, pursuing my desires, and living life for my own sake.

Discovering my preferences, passions, and sources of joy guides me in making decisions that align with my true self. I trust my intuition to reveal my life's purpose and simply need to adhere to it. I am the key to my destiny. My life revolves around my fulfilment.

Each of us possesses our unique energy and lifestyle. As an adult, you don't require validation from others regarding the right direction for you to follow. This realization has transformed me, as I understand that self-love and self-acceptance are all that is needed. With this newfound self-love and acceptance, I can live on my terms.