Acceptance of what is

Experiencing discomfort in the left side of my chest extending to the shoulder blade, I inhale and exhale while getting comfortable on the couch. Despite the physical pain, I am aware that it mainly stems from past emotions resurfacing.

I don't need to comprehend the exact nature of these emotions, which may primarily be sadness. What truly counts is my willingness to experience them without requiring a complete understanding or origin.

Attempting to ignore these emotions within me is an option. I could easily distract myself by engaging in various activities such as eating, drinking, watching TV, exercising, or reading a book. However, it would not be wise to do so, as embracing these feelings is the best way to heal them.

Continuing to take deep and calm breaths, I allow myself to cry if necessary. Despite feeling awful, I gradually unwind, sensing my body releasing long-held tension. I give myself the time needed for this process, trusting that it will eventually fade away based on previous encounters.

Instead of indulging in self-pity, I see expressing my feelings as a constructive way to release them, preventing them from staying pent up inside me (and risking unintentionally projecting them onto others).

“Well, it starts with being willing to feel what we are going through. It starts with being willing to have a compassionate relationship with the parts of ourselves that we feel are not worthy of existing on the planet. If we are willing through meditation to be mindful not only of what feels comfortable but also of what pain feels like, if we even aspire to stay awake and open to what we are feeling, to recognize and acknowledge it as best we can in each moment, then something begins to change.” – Pema Chodrön

My experience is that everything has its place and time. When these old feelings come knocking, I'm ready to release them from my body by accepting them. If I tried to avoid finding them when they remind me like this, I would only be prolonging their existence within me.

It's never fun to deal with such hurt feelings, but it helps to be curious about what's happening. Although I don't necessarily need to know these feelings or where they come from, such incidents are an opportunity to take stock of how I feel and what is happening inside me.

The goal of allowing emotions to come to the surface like this is not to lose myself or let the emotions take over me but to learn more about myself. It's not easy to be sad or angry, but in such a moment, I can only give myself space to feel exactly how I feel. I'm not trying to change anything. I am accepting and meeting myself where I am, facing what is happening here and now.