The different parts of myself

Having recently read No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, I better understood the challenges I have been facing.

The author of this book suggests that rather than having a single mind, we consist of multiple parts with varying opinions and viewpoints on what is ideal. Our core self, which remains constant, is situated beneath these parts. Addressing and working through these parts regularly is essential to live authentically.

This theory explains my tendency to engage in internal arguments as if multiple voices were present within me. These debates typically revolve around determining how to address my circumstances or navigate life. I struggle with decision-making when faced with conflicting perspectives, leading me to ponder various approaches repeatedly.

It can be perplexing when conflicting emotions arise within me, with one part feeling scared while another reassures me that there is no need to be afraid. Upon reading the book, I interpret this as internal conflicts between different aspects of myself with distinct objectives; one aims to safeguard oneself, another seeks to respond with anger, and a third tends to criticize and undermine.

The book recommends forming friendships with these parts, which have always been attempting to assist, and demonstrating empathy and kindness towards them. Hence, the book is titled No Bad Parts: These parts are not malevolent; they serve as our guardians. Instead of disregarding or disputing them, engaging in a conversation, understanding their perspectives, and elucidating the reasons behind their emotions are suggested.

These parts were typically formed in childhood and challenging circumstances, attempting to assist when one was too young to have the maturity to help oneself. Nevertheless, their responses become unhelpful once one reaches adulthood.

We need to help these aspects realize that they are no longer required to protect us. As adults, our authentic selves are present and capable of managing any challenges that come our way. Although this may be a gradual process, these aspects must come to have faith in our true self's ability to deal with any issues, allowing them to relinquish control.

Working with an individual's critical, enraged, or afraid aspects is a method for addressing their reactions. It's important to acknowledge that these parts may react strongly when triggered, prompting them to intervene and take action, but this is no longer required. Engaging in a dialogue with these parts to communicate the change and reassure them that their reaction is no longer necessary can be beneficial.

Similar to working with the inner child, we do not consider the child as an individual but rather as various parts that were formed during childhood and adolescence. We aim to work with each of these parts through parts work. While I have encountered this concept before, it is the first time I have linked these different parts to my thoughts and different viewpoints.

Reading this book has enabled me to comprehend the reasons behind my tendency to view things from various perspectives and my uncertainty in decision-making. Nevertheless, I am determined not to let past events dictate my present actions. My goal is to embrace a mature mindset, which requires me to engage with and nurture the different facets of my being.