Cycles of life

In a short while, I will have been jobless for a year and a half.

After losing my job, I never imagined I would still be in the same situation today. I had expected to take a break for a few months and then find a new opportunity. However, as time passed, without any change, I found myself questioning why I was still in this position.

Maybe I found the answer to that speculation during a recent discussion in my shaman group. Our teacher introduced a concept known as the life pulse, pointing out that this life pulse constantly fluctuates within each of us and in the world at large.

For instance, one's energy levels vary throughout the day. It takes me a while to wake up in the morning; I feel more alert around noon, tend to get sleepy in the afternoon, regain energy in the evening, and finally wind down at night (after ten o'clock, it's challenging to engage with me).

Like the ups and downs in specific periods, an individual's life also experiences fluctuations. There are periods of high activity and busyness when tasks come from all directions. Conversely, there are times when progress appears to regress. People move through different phases, each lasting for a specific duration. A decline in one's life can stretch for weeks, months, or even years.

During a downturn like this, it's hard to comprehend the reasons behind it. Over the past year or so, I've found myself in a situation where I've been applying for jobs that I would typically have a good shot at but without success. I can't help but compare myself to others who excel in their careers, leaving me puzzled as to why things aren't going my way.

Whether I'm feeling low on energy or facing challenges, my typical response is self-criticism. I believe that any negative situation results from my shortcomings, assuming that I must be at fault or lacking in some way.

These unrealistic expectations I hold about life and its functioning continue to influence me. It is essential to acknowledge that it is natural for energy levels to fluctuate and for things not always to go smoothly. Life involves facing challenges, learning from them, and evolving, which is all part of the process.

It is beneficial to view the natural fluctuation between high energy and the need for rest as a normal part of life. Life goes through expansion and contraction phases, so downturns should be seen as chances to recharge and prepare for what comes next.

These past eighteen months have allowed me to learn to embrace my current situation instead of eagerly anticipating its conclusion. I can make the most of this period by taking the opportunity to unwind and focus on self-improvement. I am honing my ability to have faith that everything unfolds according to its natural course and that events will occur precisely at the right time, not a moment sooner.