My worst enemy

In 2015, I realized that I was the main barrier to my own success.

During the year, I was lucky to have many opportunities to recognize the criticism that impacted me the most. I realized this when I realized that I had been absorbing the same feedback over and over again, a habit I've had since I was a child.

Occasionally, I hear individuals make light-hearted remarks about conversations regarding emotions, childhood, and relationships with parents. Nevertheless, it is in our formative years that we discover our identity and grasp societal conventions. Therefore, it is not surprising that a significant number of our deep-rooted behaviours and cognitive processes stem from our experiences during childhood and adolescence.

It has become clear that I am sensitive to criticism concerning aspects of myself that I find unsettling. For instance, recently, being labelled a couch potato in a joking manner made me feel criticized, even though it was meant for good fun. This reaction stems from my lack of interest in sports, a fact that others used to highlight when I was younger. I believed I should be interested in sports and felt inadequate as a result.

Today, I understand that people likely had no ill intentions. I am just not very competitive, and in a small town, football and basketball were the only sports around back then. I prefer relaxing on the couch with a good book, and that's perfectly okay. Now that I realize this clearly, there is no need for me to feel defensive or offended when someone points out my disinterest in physical activity.

This represents just one instance of a few aspects of my life that I have felt ashamed of. I have handled certain situations in this manner, believing that I would not measure up unless these aspects were altered and enhanced; until I truly transformed into a different person.

Nevertheless, that is not the answer. The key is to critically examine the information I have received and the beliefs I have held for a long time and to challenge their validity. The solution lies in not getting rid of these things but in acknowledging and accepting them.

Accept me.