Seeking mental help

I went to a psychologist for the first time when I was 18.

During my elementary school years, I struggled with depression, but at that time, my main challenge was severe anxiety. This anxiety stemmed from my difficulty in navigating unfamiliar situations, social interactions, meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone, and essentially coping with daily life.

Nevertheless, I believed life shouldn't be so challenging, so I sought help. I visited the psychologist on two occasions, during which I candidly shared my upbringing experiences with an alcoholic parent and bullying in elementary school, and I shed tears. Following the second session, the psychologist reassured me that she didn't believe I required antidepressants.

Upon hearing this statement, I was left without words because my intention in seeking her help was not to receive anti-depressants but to gain insight into myself and my experiences. Despite this, the analysis continued, and she concluded that my issue was simply boredom. She suggested that I look into joining a club at my school. Disappointed, I left her office with the firm decision not to return.

I admit that I am still upset about the incident. I took the necessary steps when someone was unwell by seeking help. I found the psychologist attentive and empathetic, but I felt like she was examining me as an object or concept rather than recognizing me as a person capable of comprehending my own experiences.

Had the psychologist inquired about my needs from the start, we could have reached a different outcome together. However, feeling let down, I left the session feeling hurt and frustrated. What angers me the most is that this experience didn't motivate me to seek professional assistance again until seven years later.

Thankfully, I have utilized my time effectively in the last five years and have encountered wonderful individuals who have greatly contributed to my remarkable achievements through interview therapy, which was my initial goal. Through this journey, I realized that I was not just dealing with depression and anxiety, but rather addressing childhood traumas that were the root cause of my emotional distress, leading to symptoms of depression and anxiety.

There are no quick fixes for such traumas, as it requires dedicated effort over time for personal growth and understanding to develop gradually over the years. Despite the journey ahead and unresolved matters, I now feel significantly better about myself and life today due to seeking assistance.